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To say a good majority of men have or will cheat on their significant other, comes as little surprise to most people. A group of women only need to bring up the subject of relationships and the “all men are dogs” spiel will eventually make its entry. But what would seem to be clear with a bit of reflection is an obvious reality; most women fail to understand why so many men cheat. If they did, it would stand to reason that not as many would end up being cheated on or selecting men more likely to do so. What is spelled out below are 12 reasons why men become unfaithful in the form of 12 different types of men. See if you recognize any of them.
Everyone knows a player or two. Often times he is an outright flirt and tends to be fairly easy on the eyes. What makes him a player is not all the women he chases, but that he is successful at pulling them in. The thing about him is, he will probably cheat regardless of his dating or marital status. And the only challenge more thrilling than putting more notches on his belt, is just how long he can dissuade you from believing the mountain of evidence he gradually becomes more careless about hiding. So if gifts and sweet talking are all that are needed to get back into your good graces, please stop complaining to other people about him as if you cannot leave.
Believe it or not, the Opportunist and the Player are actually the same guy. The only difference between the two being he was not blessed with the good looks, charm or other qualities which allow the Player to attract the attention of the women he desires. As a result, the chances for him to dabble are much fewer and far between. But believe that should an opportunity happen to present itself, he is sure to go for it. The only thing which may have kept him seemingly faithful at other times was merely an inability to execute. He will only be faithful to the extent of his options to do otherwise.
Unlike the previous two types who actively pursue other women, the Prize has the opposite problem. Whether it is because he is wealthy, famous, highly talented or flat out “fine,” women are constantly coming onto him. And likely, the fact that so many women find him desirable is something his lady once considered an attractive and enviable quality. But now the reality has set in that the flirting and propositions will not cease simply because they are now an item. Likewise, few men would be able to handle such an onslaught without taking some rather intentional precautions to buffer themselves from temptation. So here is a word of advice. Realize when you pursue a relationship with a man who is a hot commodity, you also accept all of the competition bound to come with that relationship. This does not mean he is off the hook from being faithful, but women who struggle with jealousy or insecurity will have far more than they can handle.
This man is somewhat different from the previous ones. He does not actively chase after other women, nor do they tend to chase after him. He will generally be faithful, but has a weakness. The weakness being, he is ill prepared for the event of a woman he finds attractive actually taking an interest in him. Think of him as an Opportunist who may become unfaithful based on the particular opportunity rather than jumping on practically any offer he gets.
For many men, ego can become a major issue when they are insecure about themselves and their life situation. The triggers for their jealously could involve anything from their mate bringing in more income to regularly receiving more attention from the opposite sex. So when his woman appears to be more successful than him in certain areas, he feels he has something to prove. And should he not be able to seemingly surpass her in those areas, he may unfortunately turn to extracurricular activities as a means of validating himself. Therefore, be wary of throwing touchy areas in his face. Rather than be motivated to prove you wrong, he may just seek the company of someone more willing to pet his ego.
This dude has issues; and I mean serious issues. We are talking about the kinds of things he will probably need professional and spiritual help to effectively handle. Yet, there is also variety among these guys. Some basically have deeply ingrained issues surrounding domination and control. But there are also those who feel as if they could not stop if they wanted to; and many sincerely want to. Their main obstacle is the self-constructed wall of secrecy and shame they have built to hide behaviors they themselves are ashamed of partaking in. Two words of advice for dealing with these guys. The first is to distinguish the non-empathetic sociopath from the shameful addict. The second is to provide support and encouragement to the addict in facing their issues if you value the relationship enough salvage what is left.
Many of us have seen or known this guy at some point in our lives. Well to be more accurate, the woman he is with tends to stand out much more. She is seen constantly berating and undermining him in ways which make us cringe in pity. A prime example may be a certain couple from a reality television show featuring sets of multiple babies. But when it comes to the choice between growing a backbone, hitting the pause on the relationship or playing the field, guess which one he picks? So while he is certainly wrong for stepping out of bounds, perhaps a few less unnecessary fouls would have deterred that outcome.
The temptation for this individual lies in the inevitable same old same old which comes with long-term relationships. While he may not have entered the relationship expecting to live out a Hollywood romantic comedy, he still may have failed to anticipate extended periods with little to no fireworks. Regardless of who is or is not contributing to the romance factor, he can develop a wandering eye which has the possibility of growing hands and other appendages. Despite the reality of all legitimate couples eventually having a dry spell here and there, he mistakenly believes there is someone with whom it will never happen.
The Late Bloomer
The idea of the onetime social outcast turning out to be a swan or eagle later in life is not simply a storyline in comedy films. Braces can come off, acne can clear up, fashion sense can kick in and social skills can be learned. And when this occurs, the guy who could not get a phone number to save his life is now having them slipped to him on the regular. Therefore, there is a decent chance he may start feeling himself a bit too much. This now presents a problem; at least in his eyes. He happened to settle down with someone before these changes took place and now considers trading up since his options have expanded. Little does he know, the person who saw potential in him before he blossomed, is far more trustworthy than those who only take notice once it comes to the surface.
In many ways, this particular gentleman is originally very honorable. Maybe he overcommitted at a young age, could not bring himself to break off a longtime relationship or refused to leave the woman who has borne him children. Whatever the case, he now feels trapped in a relationship for trying to do the right thing. This feeling can be compounded should he also feel these efforts have gone unappreciated. And at some point, a woman who values those traits may come along and feel as if she is rescuing a good man. However the irony of the entire situation is, he will lose that very honor should they cultivate and act on those feelings.
The Sitting Duck
Like the previous fellow, he can typically be counted on to be faithful to the woman he is with. In fact, he is even more likely than the Trapped man because he does not carry a recurring sense of resentment or regret about his decisions. But what puts this guy in danger of stepping outside the boundaries of the relationship is coincidental timing. If a woman he finds very attractive makes a pass at him, he is naturally inclined to rebuff it. And should the relationship arrive at the worst of rough patches, he will not look for an exit strategy. But should a woman he is very attracted to happen to make a move during a particularly rough patch, his fidelity has the greatest chance of being compromised. And more often than not, she can tell he is ripe for the picking before that move is made. The best protection for both parties in the relationship is to make sure times of tension do not escalate beyond the point of remembering why the relationship is worth saving.
Similar to some of the previous men, he has no intentions to stray outside of the relationship. Likewise, he will also have the strength to withstand advances from misguided homewreckers. Yet, his faith in his ability to remain faithful regardless of the circumstance or situation will also be his undoing if he is not careful. His pride may allow him to enter situations which unnecessarily test the extents of his fidelity. A common pitfall he can fall into is spending a large amount of unsupervised time with a female friend or coworker. Although it starts off as completely platonic, romantic feelings will almost always have a chance of developing. And should he know there are feelings on either side of the equation, his biggest mistake will be his continued belief that they could never lead to an affair. But when it does go there and things hit the fan, he may still believe “it just happened.” However, the thought of stepping out is always entertained long before it is ever acted upon.
While this list highlights several reasons why some men would cheat, women should be cautious not to take their man’s fidelity for granted. While this is not a pitch for the old “if she took care of him, he wouldn’t look elsewhere” philosophy, indicating no other woman would want him is pretty much shooting yourself in the foot. Do not be fooled into believing his skin is so thick that he does not care about factors like body image and feeling attractive just as much as you. The woman who believes all men will cheat is a self-fulfilling prophecy because the attitude which accompanies this perspective will often drive him to do just that or leave altogether. On the other hand, the woman who believes her mate would never cheat regardless of the circumstance, will likely let her guard down in ways which carelessly leave the doors to temptation wide open.
By Corey Dorsey